There is this saying if you want to have friends you must first and foremost be friendly. In other words, you must present or show yourself as a friendly person – one that can easily relate to others.
You must be a good communicator to be able to hold simple conversations with others, in which both parties understand themselves. This is because people come from different backgrounds and would naturally behave differently as well.
Your interpersonal skills must be at a top level for you to be able to have and keep friends. And you must have such a character that upholds the culture of inclusiveness – no indiscriminate behaviour, nepotism should be entertained by you.
Those who can make people feel safe while hanging around them, those who can be relied upon and can inconvenience themselves for others are rare qualities that make you a good friend to someone else.
Communication and the way, the manner you go about it are key determinants of relationships’ success or failure.
My Conversation with two friends Regarding the Subject matter
I had a chat with a friend that resides outside my location.
He had asked me an honest question which suggests he cares,
“Viv, how are you doing, have you had lunch”?
I being very honest, not having any ulterior motives, I responded and said no, not yet.
He went further to say to me ‘you better stop all this fitness ‘craze’ o, go get something to eat.
I said to him again, I honestly don’t have the time to go and get food, why don’t you order something for me from the ‘net instead, it’s that easy to do these days you know, that way you won’t be thinking I’m purposely starving myself because I want to maintain a particular body shape.
Do you know my friend took the above conversation to a different level…
*How he can never use his money to order ‘food’ from any restaurant, internet, eateries or whatever we call it;
*He went on to say his mother taught him well and that he knows how to cook whatever he desires to eat…
*He equally raised other issues I’ll rather not go into.
Do you know as a modern thinker, realistic, single lady that I am, one who is looking forward to getting married soon to her prince charming…😉🙂 my spiritual antennas went up, I immediately began to see this friend of mine as the type of guy that’ll probably find it difficult to assist his wife with certain chores, especially when she’s tired from work…
I mean to ask, is there something wrong with your man going to get food from a good local restaurant whenever such need arises?
How about during pregnancy and she’s needing one help or another…!
Don’t get it twisted please, I particularly don’t see myself lazing about all in the name of I’m pregnant when the time comes.
But considering my friend is the type that will never spend his money to buy food, what was I supposed to think Biko [please]?
Again, there is the other female friend of mine who told me recently about her #bf or rather the man of her dreams;
According to her this guy calls or communicates with her once/twice a week;
And when they’re chatting he doesn’t say more than one or two sentences, all in the name of he’s an #introvert.
Look! I’m pretty sure someone is saying now ‘ladies and their gossip nature’😉😃
Call it whatever you want – gossip, chatting, educating, or inspiring one another…🙂
I encourage us to speak out, especially when we have good friends that can be trusted.
Do you even know some #guys may hide under this introvert and extrovert ‘thing to communicate their dislike towards their friends!?
Or they’re probably not ready for anything serious while the lady is wasting time with such a guy!
But then, is it okay for some #men out there to have such a perception nowadays – ‘I can never do this or that?’
Or does it not sound more like #cooking is the duty of the woman…?
Communication Scenarios and its Signs for the Future
Let me shock you!
As a lady, if you meet a guy who always says things like oh ‘wow, look at that babe and how curvy she looks’; ‘this lady is so cute and portable’…I mean, he sings the song of another while with you his girlfriend.
It could simply mean such guys are just managing to be with you, as it’s obvious you do not possess all the physical attributes they see in other ladies.
Secondly, if you are the one always starting up a conversation with your partner, watch it! It may be that the fellow is busy with another, which takes his attention away from you.
What I mean to say is this, he doesn’t start up conversations with you. He probably just says, hello how are you doing; have you eaten, how was your sleep…etc? Nothing interesting to talk about, you don’t brainstorm on ideas, national or trending issues… As a single lady, be very careful with such a guy. Otherwise, you’ll end up with a guy who sits in the living room reading newspapers, watching the television while his wife suffers alone in the kitchen to get their meal ready.
Thirdly, if you are faced with someone who leaves your chat, email, or text messages for days before managing to say one or two lines of words, beware of him or her, it could mean that you’re not that important. No matter how busy your friend seems, he/she will always create the time to communicate with you. It’s that simple.
Those days, just by keeping a friend quiet for a day or two, he/she understands that something is wrong, I need to reach out to my friend.
But nowadays, from a guys’ angle, they’d term it as she’s proving difficult to get, don’t mind her. The fellow that isn’t meant for you won’t care. He’ll jump in and out with the next available ones.
Let me not delve into trending issues like ladies proposing to guys of their choice…of which you and I can attest to the fact that it communicates desperation to some extent.
Some shooting their shots at a guy…what signs do such convey for the future?
How about meeting an ‘aka-gum’ [stingy] kind of guy or lady…
One thing I know is that true #love gives, it sacrifices, etc; but when you meet the opposite, and it’s obvious the fellow has at the moment, it’s a clear sign for the future.
◾Call for Answers◾
What went wrong now?
Where is the world headed with the type of relationships we see and? entertain now?
What sort of red, green, or yellow flags do you think are being communicated with the way and manner relationships are done these days?
Conclusion
In the course of our daily lives, while in our offices and interacting with colleagues, friends, we must watch out for communication flaws, signs that may hamper the success of our relationships.
Make hay while the sun shines!
Don’t say I didn’t warn you😊
◾By the way, I know you do have peculiar experiences, probably more interesting than those narrated above, feel free to share with me.
Thank you for being there🙂
“Let’s live and let’s love”
By Vivian Nze [Abuja]
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